Love addiction causes many people many years of anguish until they are able to face their greatest fears: being alone. In the meantime, the different behaviors and symptoms of love addiction might be causing you more harm than good.
You fear loneliness so severely that you avoid it all cost. You are constantly in a relationship because when one ends, which they often do, you have to start another one. You might even be guilty of looking into new relationships before a current relationship ends because you want to avoid being alone. A fear of loneliness is an indication that you aren’t comfortable being with yourself, which is a deeper indication that you aren’t comfortable with yourself. Your love addiction gets in the way of developing a relationship with yourself, causing you to become codependent and define yourself through others. As a result, you consistently struggle with self-esteem and self-worth because you don’t give yourself the opportunity to create it on your own.
You choose partners who hurt you. Desperate to be in love, feel love, or have the security of a relationship you don’t spend time getting to know the people you are “falling in love” with. Part of this dysfunction is the people you’re getting into relationships. People with other unhealthy behaviors, or love addiction themselves, are also willing to jump into romantic relationships without getting to know you. Many tend to have untreated mental illness, substance abuse, or domestic violence issues. Even after being hurt physically or emotionally, you stay with or choose other partners who do so, in order to avoid being alone.
You choose partners based on idealism rather than reality. Love addiction thrives in a fantasy land. Idealized ideas of who someone is, what a relationship could be like, and a storybook romance get in the way of recognizing the reality of who you are in a relationship, who your partner is in a relationship, and what your relationship actually is. Living in idealized fantasy instead of reality, you set yourself up to be hurt.
You act recklessly in the name of love. People do crazy things for love, it is often said. Love addicts tend to take this to the next level. If you are crazy for love, it could be putting you in harm’s way. You act recklessly to get attention, put on dramatic displays of romance, and more, in order to prove your love is real. You might be reckless physically, psychologically, or even financially.
Love addiction can feel impossible to overcome alone. You are not alone. Millions of people are struggling in unhealthy relationships they don’t understand because they aren’t aware of their love addiction. Cottonwood Tucson knows the experience is real. Our integrative approach to co-occurring disorders includes the treatment of love addiction. For information on our holistic residential treatment programs, call (800) 877-4520 today.